Friday, March 26, 2010

stelllllaaahhhhh!

I don't know where to begin.  I'm not even quite sure what happened.

Though, one version goes like this:
It was a Saturday.
RK was out on a huge bike ride.  I planned on sitting at the computer and working all day.
I walked out of the apartment to get toilet paper at walgreens.
I came home with a dog.

And not just any dog.  The most gorgeous little girl dog I've ever seen.  I have never, in my life, felt this way about a little furry creature.

Yes, yes, I like animals--though many of my friends think I'm slightly cold or distant when it comes to their animals, or I don't like their cats... I DO, honestly.  I like them.
But this? THIS is love.  It's crazy.  I feel a little crazy. 


When I picked her up from the little open cage that held her and a few other rescued dogs, waiting to be adopted, I held her to my chest and she melted into me.  Tears started streaming down my face and I couldn't talk.  It was a completely surreal moment as the people around began turning towards me asking if this was my dog? was i adopting? had anyone ever seen a dog relax into someone like that? hey, thats magic! wow! what you two have is something! ohmygod, did someone just fall in love? wow, look at you two together!  It felt amazing, but what I said outloud was, "oh, I don't know.  I just came out to get some toilet paper, really, but...but....yet...I can't seem to put her down"  ohno, don't put her down! they all cried in unison (it seemed)  that's your dog! take her home!  that doesn't often happen like that (or) that's what happened to me and my dog, that's just how it happened, we fell in love.

It was clear, I was going home with this dog.

The moment I walked away from that corner, with this little, innocent, soft-furred being, I immediately suffered mom-fear:   What if she cuts her paw on a piece of glassWhat if another dog bites her?  What if she gets hit by a carOhmygod, she's gonna die one of these days.  I don't want to loose her!  I went through it all.  Then, I got home, put her on my lap and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
For the next 5 hours, she slept, I stroked her gorgeous coat, I stared at her and I thought about what I was going to tell RK when he got home*.


Another version is that I was ready to fall in love.  I was ready to make another commitment in my life.  Thank you to anon, for sending me that Ferris video clip, it made me sit up just a little bit more and look around a little bit more clearly.  The fact is, I inked messages on my forearms for this very reason:  I want to be here now and be able to let go at the very same time.  Stella Marie, this innocent, soft-furred being, is forcing me to do this.
Thank goodness.


*I needn't have spent much time thinking about what to say to RK.  He walked in the door, took one look at her and that's all she wrote.

12 comments:

Bored@Work said...

OMG your dog is beautiful!!! It was just meant to be. She's perfect, congratulations!!!

tiny elf studio said...

Luckiest dog ever (except for my rescues, of course)

Christine--RHP said...

sometimes it just happens. The animals don't need to be convinced it's right. They know the moment they meet you.
what a sweet story. You made me all teary!!
she's beautiful.

Ellen Zachos said...

That's such a wonderful description, thanks for sharing. I really can't wait to meet Stella; she's clearly a love muffin.

christina said...

she's the most amazing little thing ever. i am so happy for the two of you!!

comfies said...

wow. wow. i'm just wow. i'm in love, look at those eyes. she's a dream boat. congratulations moll, let me know when i can meet her!

Molly said...

Aw, congratulations!
I got a Stella of my own recently - great name!

billy girl said...

just a dream . . . I am so over the moon for you and cannot wait to meet and greet miss Stella. Love the way your two arms came together "be here now and let go at the very same time" - it's what actually (physically) happened when you held and hugged Stella, your arms and text crossed and voila, she helped you do it! And will continue to each day. Love, that's some lovely love.

i.m. monzaemon said...

Stella is beautiful. I love the slipper in pic #2.

lotta said...

oh my goodness molly, you got a dog. That's fantastic. She looks irresistible, and it is so true that they find you, call you, and beckon you when you are ready. You will love every minute of dog ownership. Later I will tell you about all the sorrow, and heart ache that comes along with it. But not now. Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.

Molly de Vries said...

I am crying my liitle eye balls out, Especially when I saw Rk with that sweetness. Finally get to see this beautiful man. We found our love dog Pooch last year. I'm in love with him too. I'm so happy for you Molly. I also just have to say again that your writing hits my soul right in there. I wish you would do a writing class, so that I can come. Your the best!!!!

gojiearthbird said...

Sister molly, that is truly beautiful story. so happy to hear how Stella maria & you found each other again. What a wonderful to your heart opening. Love U.