The Littles

The more I think about having children someday, the more excited I get. A little bebe to sleep between RK and I, while we watch him or her breathing softly. Tiny little fingers and toes to hold and softly stroke. A little button nose to kiss and kiss and kiss. I think about the long walks we'll take, talking softly, while RK has our little son or daughter snuggled up against his chest in a little baby sling (I predict, everything will be described as "little" for the first six years). I love the thought of onesies and soft little sweaters and booties I know my mom will knit (there's already knit items in the linen closet at home awaiting the arrival of a child of ours!), the soft blankets and cozy cashmere bonnets I want to wrap this little creature in. I also think about the lack of sleep that comes with having a newborn in your life. Every time I reach over to turn off the alarm at 6:45 AM these days, I remind myself, 'this ain't nuthin compared to parenthood hours.' I idealize how this perfect little human will keep our creative juices flowing, in a different direction than ever before, just by their mere presence of perfection.

Over our years together, RK and I have taped quite a few hours of phone messages, family conversations, and general talking while road-tripping (not to mention the hours and hours of tape we brought into the relationship) and it got me thinking, when I saw this reel again here...

I can imagine us, recorder in hand, taking our child's best and worst and cutest and sweetest and awfullest moments and putting them to great use. Both our parents recorded us as kids and every time we go home to visit, we watch and hear the tapes to prove it! The memories of childhood and the way it really sounded is heart warming. I love that this wonderfully talented father, John Hubley, did what he knew best and highlighted his two children this way.
As Art Linkletter used to say, "kids say the darndest things", and we'd be wise to keep them immortalized.

creative:productive

The Eleven Eleven show was lots of fun. It had great holiday spirit, was beautifully curated and the cherry on top was that I sold two pieces. I thought it would get me seriously motivated and back in the studio again....but, um, that hasn't yet happened. During the week, I'm too busy or too tired to get down there. And then, the weekend comes and all I can think about is ideal saturday (this past weekend was a record breaking ideal saturday) and I never make it down there. I know my studio mate is living it up and getting creative and productive monday through friday...still, I guess I'll get there when I get there. I do need to start creating a new series for the cards. I had started again in the fall...and...well, i just need to pick it up again. The stationary show will be here before I know it.




No more resting on laurels!
These last two pieces I never actually completed as such. They were sort of work studies for the two above pieces. I tend to do that. Put together something, move it around, it's something else now, but ends up completely different from my first idea. But, I've grown to like them in their photographic form, so I might just have another go at these.

I tell myself, Get out there and make! make! create!

'We are more likely to fail as craftsmen, I argue, due to our inability to organize obsession than because of lack of ability'

-Richard Sennett
The Craftsman

What kind of fairy are you?

It occurred to me that I've believed in fairies my whole life. I hate to admit it. Fairies have a bit of silly reputation. But when you see it again through a six-year-olds-eyes, well, it's made me re-think my "history" with fairies.

I grew up with godparents who always referred to themselves as my fairy godparents. For many years, in my youthful innocence, I had an image of my godmother flying with a magic wand like that one from Disney's Cinderella. Then, when I was about four or five, I was in a little red schoolhouse where my friend, D's mom, worked when (i'll swear on anything) I saw a leprechaun, a real leprechaun, sitting up in the corner of the room by the celing. To this day, I repeat that story because I know it happened and I just can't believe it happened, at the same time. Then there's the one about the butterfly that followed me while I went bike riding down a long Neenah, Wisconsin road. And I was convinced that butterfly was my mom's sister, Betty, who'd passed away. We were having a family picnic that day at the house they all grew up in.

The Case of the Cottingley Fairies

So, bringing it to the present day: About three months ago now, one of the kids at school, brought in about six different ziplock baggies for morning share. Inside each baggie was a little smattering of glitter. She wanted us all to see her collection of fairy dust. One of the boys said they didn't know that fairies were real...and our fairy expert yelled back, "Oh, they're real! They're real! I know it! They visit me!" Well, this bold statement would not go overlooked! So, over the next week, the fairy letters started pouring in. Our little fairy-factoid-giver shared with us all how she left little houses in the garden for the fairies, and food treats, and maybe a a strange object (as some sort of sacrifice? testing what it is fairies really like?... as it turns out, these random objects left for the fairies become a great focus for the kids, always aiming to make the fairies happy: maybe we should leave them a rose petal? oh my gosh! Fairies like seaweed! We left some for them and they left us a note!...but I'm jumping ahead of myself here...). Then, the next morning, or a few days later, she would check back in the very spot she left something out for the fairy and there would be a note! Or, a little flower! Or, some fairy dust!

This rock-solid confirmation that fairies were real was like setting a fire in a dry forest. The girls, and a couple of the boys, in our first grade class are now consumed with fairy visits. They've constructed elaborate houses out of cardboard boxes and left them the random objects I mentioned above, and notes upon notes upon notes. Wanting to keep this belief alive, my co-teacher, PS, and I have taken on the job of being the responding fairies at school. They all still have home fairies, which are different than the ones that visit us at school. Recently, a few of them left notes hidden in their houses. I had told PS that I would get the notes and respond (she had done it the last time, and me, the time before that...it's gonna be a turn-taking thing).

In the morning, I get there extra early to sneak in with the notes from the fairies and hide them in their spots, with a little extra glitter sprinkled in and maybe a little sparkly tied ribbon... When they get there, they run to the houses and find the notes. Pulling them out, asking us what they say, we've got to pretend we're reading them for the first time. I usually stumble on a word or two or ask them what their original note said to the fairy. Watching them jump up and down and get all excited, it makes me think, 'why couldn't there be fairies everywhere?'

And then you've got your modern day, grown-up version fairies, as in "wow! it's like the fairies came and visited me!" That's what you might say if one day, out of the blue, a box arrived in the mail and inside were three homemade goodies from the garden master herself!
One of the very best jars contained sun dried tomatoes. Probably one of my favorite foods. I've eaten them for longer than I can remember and I've never had them like this. Originally, I had thought I would fill the jar with olive oil and herbs and eat them they way I knew how. I'm SO glad I didn't! Their freshness and sweetness is so intense, it's like they're right off the vine. Every bit of flavor you could attribute to a fresh tomato is in these little bits.
So, yes, I feel like the fairies have visited me once again.

back to life, back to reality

Monday. Back to business. Back to work. Which, for me, means back to school.
Back to the classroom. Back to 30 different kids after a two week vacation.
Hoping that's been a good amount of time for everyone to take a little time to make a change, to grow.
Just a little bit.




I took these photos last summer at the little Montessori school in Petaluma where our friend works.

soul II soul: every time i say the words, 'back to life, back to reality', this song comes crashing into my brain.

Begin the Beginning

'Tis a new year. New things happening all the time.

It's funny the way we categorize time. Over the last week, I heard people say, 'man, 2008 was not what I was looking for' or, '2008 really sucked'. Woof. A whole entire year, sucking? That's rough.

To appease this disheartening idea, I tend not to clump time together. Maybe I did once upon a time. I remember thinking 4th grade was a pretty rough year. But, I came to realize, there's some really great times in every day of every week of every month which come to make up every year. And if one puts all their hopes in the concept of "the year", the way they hope "the year" to be....well, a disappointment is sure to arrive at the door. Time is a great equalizer, but it can't make you happy or bring you down. Time is a concept created by humankind. It's what you DO with that time that will create what that time means to you when it's past.
Happy New Year, indeed. Happy all of it!
A few months ago, I met a very talented girl, Sonja, and we quickly became studio mates and very soon after, she had to make some big changes and one of them was not keeping the studio. It was a shame to see her go, but as all good things must come to an end, and in the way that a door closes and a window opens... it made way for my new studio mate, Brian McDonald. I'm thrilled to be sharing a space with Brian and all his talent. He was the one of the first artists I'd seen when we moved here to SF and I was dying to own a piece but couldn't afford it. Now, he's making those said pieces alongside me in our studio space (well, not really alongside me, since we're rarely there at the same time...but i get to see it all every time i'm there!). Anyhoo, he recently sent me an email with a great compliment. He'd found a book of work by Tony Fitzpatrick, beautiful, amazing work, and he wrote that Fitzpatrick's work reminded him of my work (which was thrilling me to no end!).

I can't help but become completely moved by Fitzpatrick's pieces, and really, I would pay the same compliment back to Brian: Fitzpatrick's intricate collages remind me of Brian's.



So, I guess we're all in just the right place, in just the right time.

desert like dessert

We've arrived in the desert for a few days: get some sun, soak in the mineral-water pools. A complete rejuvenation session to start the new year with. Even though the pools can tend to feel like you're sharing a huge bathtub with total strangers...once you get into it, you actually end up either totally relaxing due to the anonymity of it all or chatting it up with some really great people.

This time around though, I think it's just time to totally relax.
I even bought an itsy bitsy teeny weeny black bikini for the occasion. Who'da thunk it? I haven't worn a bikini since I was a kid (and, for one brief moment, on my honeymoon) but it feels great! I also got a book for Christmas called The Four Agreements, so, between soaks in the pool (and, sometimes, even in the pool), I'm reading that.

hello dessert happy!

to fill and be filled

I want to raise children for so many reasons.
I'd like to raise children to influence and to be influenced. I want to watch them light up at new findings. I want to squeeze them and give them millions of little kisses on their soft little cheeks. I want to try and explain the unexplainable to them. I want to watch RK's eyes fill to the brim when he watches them ride their bike for the first time without training wheels, 'cuz he's spent hours in the road teaching them. I want to hear them whisper 'i love you kick and grampa' when my mom & dad put them to bed. I want to watch them play with their friends, and make little crafts, and laugh so hard they can't stop.
And I want a reason to subscribe to the juiciest little magazine I've ever seen, called SMALL.

Thanks to Bluebird for the link, and Andrea Land for the photo.

Home and extremely happy to be here...the busy-ness of work and holiday parties has passed a bit for now, but who knows what's next? Looking forward to 2009 'cuz 2008 was so great!

Hope everyone's holidays are happy and filled with good cheer and good cookies!
All the best in the coming years.

Happy Everything!

I think I'm in Love Now

Recently, I've found myself dissing San Francisco. I'm not proud of it. I don't like doing it. But, I find myself constantly comparing SF to NYC: The vibe, the restaurants, the public transportation, the electricity of the 24-hour city, the bars, the old stores, the neighborhoods...on and on.

But, lately, having had wonderful weather here in SF, and getting together with friends over and over, really making the most of each moment, things have perked up a bit...and then our friend, Dylan, goes and takes these photos at Dolores Park and the photos make me gasp at the beauty that is basically our front yard.



So, I promise, at least for now, I'll stop with the whining. And, for more insane nighttime beauty captured, go to Dylan's flickr stream. You'll want to move here.

Newsy News Newspaper

An adorable little shop in Australia, Newspaper Taxi, contacted me recently about carrying my cards. I LOVE the look of her shop and got really into her blog, too. Tons of great artists she profiles, and ideas she shares, a real gold-mine.

One artist (or group?) that impressed me is Castle and Things. I love their aesthetic. And I'm at a bit of a loss to say why or how...and, besides, their work can really raise the bar all on its own. They are one-of-a-kind pieces handstitched on vintage linen with felt, velvet and wool.
So, without further ado...

Flooded with Thoughts

While we were away in NH for the Thanksgiving holiday, there was a flood in our apartment. The upstairs tenants had a broken pipe, no one was the wiser and hours later, the boy who lives downstairs from us called the Super because he had a fairly large pond growing in his living room. There's part of me that's actually glad we weren't here to witness it. It's not the first flood in this apartment (nor in my lifetime of apartments) and it probably won't be the last.

We found out about it, two days later, while we were on a Las Vegas layover. Luckily, we'd just played a few slots and won six times our money (that's what happens when you play a dollar slot machine and get six bucks back!), so we were in a pretty darn good mood when I heard a frantic voice mail from our neighbor. Well, right there in the airport, I blew my top! Really, it felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I really freaked out. I had all these horrible visions of our living room being under water and the huge hole in our ceiling that we would be greeted with in just a few hours.

Turns out, I totally overreacted. Whoops! The beautiful 1906-floors were ruined...our shoes were covered in plasterboard...and yes, there was a big hole in our ceiling. But, that's it. Once we got inside and really surveyed the damage, RK and I looked at each other and started laughing. It really was the only thing left to do.

I was reminded of the whole thing again when I saw these photos from Venice: A town that is used to being under water, or at least living on the water, was recently flooded. Check out every single person in every single photo, not a grimace among them. It's a bit of a beautiful sight and a good attitude to take when things don't go exactly your way...



these girls are waiting in their shoe shop for the flood to recede!

all images from here

Saturdays Ideal

Saturday morning.
I wait for it all week long.
I dream about it.
I fantasize how it'll go down.
And then, here it is: I sleep in 'til about 8am (if I really push it, I'll lay prone 'til 9, but I know I'm taking up valuable ideal time), roll out of bed and start the coffee. RK is off on a ride and the house is quiet. I shuffle around in my slippers, gathering up the latest issues of The New Yorker and the books I'm reading (currently: the first Harry Potter, Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies, and Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth), I even grab a copy of Rolling Stone (a subscription randomly started arriving at our house about four months ago....sometimes i give in to it)! Pop some toast in the toaster, butter it up and slather on peanut butter. Fill the thermos with hot coffee and a little pitcher of milk (though, since 'tis the season, the pitcher is filled with eggnog this morning). If I get to it, I might even put on some classical music to set the mood. With my entire bounty, I jump back under the covers, phones by my side (i also accept & make phone calls during this ideal time), pour my first steaming cup of coffee, set it on the bed tray (thank you, kaari, for one of the greatest gifts ever!) and start in on the reading material. I know I've got at least three hours before RK gets home and I'll start feeling a bit like, "um...i guess i should get out of bed..." Luckily, (remember this is saturdays ideal) when RK does get home, he walks in and smiles from ear to ear, "ohhhhhh! i'm SO glad you're doing this! can i get you more coffee?" and he sits down next to me and tells me all about his ride.I have to get up now, but I'm already plotting out next Saturdays ideal.....

just one...

Years ago, living in NYC, I ran into a boy I went to high school with. Though I hadn't seen him in years and he was a few years behind me in school, I recognized him instantly when I stepped into the Ear bar one night. It was a lot of 'ohmygosh, i had no idea...' and 'you live here?!' and finally numbers were exchanged with a promise of getting together sometime.

We did end up hanging out a few times and on one of those occasions, we came up with the idea of creating a book. It would be a children's book all about people's impressions/ideas/knowledge of how New York City came to be called "The Big Apple". We had a lot of these great ideas over the next few weeks. Every time we walked into a coffee shop or a bookstore or watched a clever reel of commercials, we thought of something new that we didn't think had yet been made and we should be the ones to make it. Eventually, I got a blank cassette tape and my little hand-held tape recorder and took to the streets...asking everyone from doormen to tourists to bodega owners why NYC was called the Big Apple. Though I've fallen out of touch with that boy from high school, I still have that cassette tape. I should pull it out and listen to it.

This lovely little video that T posted the other day made me think of it and wonder if I shouldn't still write that children's book...

Fifty People, One Question: New York from Crush & Lovely on Vimeo.

Life Changing Fiction

Awhile back (before the full time teaching gig set in), I spent some serious time strolling the blog scene and came across more goodness than I could possibly list in one sitting. So, instead, I use this time to highlight a great anecdote and a interesting project for all. I read on a few blogs, but the full story on this one, about this classic issue of copyright. Seems another blogger used the phrase "life changing fiction" when writing about a book he read and he received, basically, a 'cease and desist' letter from an author who claimed she had copyrighted that phrase. So, of course, in the name of blog: This started a backlash. (Ooooh, good times) I wanted to join in here and show some of my life changing fiction. When I started in a-thinkin', I realized the list was too big...so, I decided to stick to just the ones I still have in our bookcase...and then I realized, we're missing tons of good books! After that, I realized, the list is just too huge to put down in a list. I could barely scratch the surface. So, here's just a few I've loved and loved again...

Que Sera Sera

RK and I have been trying to figure out what to do next. It's amazing how time can just sort of fly by, 24 hours in a day seem like a mere 8 sometimes. Full-time jobs and keeping up with laundry and making dinners and then getting in as much sleep as possible. Next thing you know, hours, days, months have passed and it's almost as if you've been standing still. I'm not sure what it is that we're supposed to do next. Some big step. Some major decision to be made. But, I do know that each day I wake up and every day I go to bed, I'm so very happy to be spending the time I have with RK. I think that might just be enough...

Eleven Eleven

I'm thrilled to be participating in a group show again this year, titled 11 Eleven. It's a lovely show with 11 (or more...) artists showing on the eleventh day of December and it benefits Toys for Tots. Held at the new location of Reaves Gallery, I just LOVE the artists involved in the show and feel completely honored to be a part of it. Sure, the show is in a mere four days, but I'm still busily working (like Santa's elves on Christmas Eve) to make a few more new pieces. I'll slide them up on the wall at the last minute (thanks to gallery owners, Matt, Blair and Sharon!) and happily sip a drink with friends and art-lovers alike on Thursday night. It's a warm fuzzy that's worth being a part of.

Spam: Giving You the Creativity You Might Otherwise Lack

Not particularly enlightening or dramatic or moving, but I've been inundated with spam lately--the titles of the emails, as well as the "senders" are hysterical... and I couldn't help but notice that I just may have the entire cast of characters for a funny book some day:

• Sabir Council
• Golebiowski Behrns
• Hinchee Ty
• Waks Witman
• Rosendale Caska
• Meszaros Baher
• Meals Bernal
• Roekle Berdy
• Hauer Winberry
• Grueser Delrie
• Reech Phung
• Boudewyns Enrico

Perhaps Hinchee Ty is a strange, wrinkled, old doctor that is an expert in rashes.
Or Waks Witman is the local, infamous author, having gained his fame by stripping a tree of it's bark and painting it yellow for inspiration.
And Meals Bernal, well, he's a classic. He's the local nutritionist who everyone thinks is bonkers because he only eats legumes.

Then, there's:

• Joland Cornejo
• Sukovaty Alexis
• Dwan Lebouef
• Sleeman Lutchman
• Morgas Goestel
• Manspeaker Malaney
• Bercher Schueler
• Ramon Felciano
• Tallis Enstad
• Crevier Sarley
• Bjornberg Lindley (the tennis player seeded no.1, i'm sure!)
• Hardrict Hanek
• Vannote Dobis

Morgas Goestel has a sad history, having lost his whole family in a terrible storm while sailing the great seas.
Ramon Felciano is the towns resident flirt, all the ladies love him.
Hardrict Hanek is a bully, hated by all, but hated by himself the most.
Manspeaker Malaney gave himself his own name when he went from alcoholic to motivational speaker.
Dwan Lebouef has been in trouble with the law, but just met a fine young lady who is trying to turn his life around. He collects glass giraffes.

Of course, none of these characters are set in stone yet. There's always more spam to be had.