romance 101

A friend recently read me a poem she wrote that was all about telling love off. The sickly sweetness of it, the friggin hearts, the wilting roses, the furtive love notes--it was actually a really great poem. And, I'm in love. But, I remember when I wasn't. And I desperately wished I was. And how that felt. There were definitely times I wanted to throw a torch while walking by a hallmark shop on valentine's day...or that I'd prayed to the cynical gods above me that the couple sitting in front of me at the movies would take their tonsil hockey somewhere else. But then, I also remember when love did arrive at my doorstep in the form of RK. How new and fresh it all was. How shiny and perfect. There was no room for what ifs or what was life like moments before. Flaws weren't something you searched for, your eyes were too taken with this cloud of romance hovering above you, swirling around you, filling you both up. Hearts, in the shape of balloons, or chocolate cakes or pendants, were all just fine with you. Roses, you couldn't get enough dozens to keep you satiated. Love notes were scribbled on everything within reach. And those hallmark shops you'd pass by, well, suddenly, every card in there seemed printed for you and your love. It's not that you think these things can't happen, it's just that it starts to feel like they'll never happen to you. It's not that you forget these things when you don't have them, it's that you long for them with such great passion that the longing can reach a bitter end. And sometimes, that's what's left there, that bitter taste. I'm in no way implying my friend is bitter. In fact, she's just the opposite. She's hopeful, without a trace of bitterness. Excited, with all the anxious unknown that comes with that. After she read the poem, which ends with a real promise to future, positive love, it made me excited. It made me excited for her, for what lays out there in the future. And it made me remember that first sight of love, at my front door, all over again. It made me remember all the hearts and balloons and roses and love notes. It made me remember that it can happen instantly. I'm so very happy and lucky to be in this loving relationship, this comforting and passionate balance of friendship and love, but sometimes it's just as sweet to remember those first days of discovery all over again....

I'd wish this kind of love on all my friends.