Appearances are an interesting thing.
It's what makes us lie or tell the truth. Its what makes us reach out or shut down in a given situation. We spend an awful lot of time doing what we think others might expect or need of us. It colors most things people do. It doesn't necessarily have to be a negative. Appearances are our logo, our storytelling, our product of voiced opinions. It seeps as deep as our beliefs about protecting the environment to our opinionated take on reading People Magazine. It can even take on a life of it's own, some call that habit. Even writing this now, I wonder about the appearance it gives off versus the one I've intended (and is it versus? perhaps i'm giving off just the appearance i intended?)
As we get older, as we get wiser, as we get more comfortable, many of us tend to let go of appearances and yet, an appearance is something you give off every time you leave the house.
When I was younger, I honestly believe no one talked about me when I wasn't around. If someone would use the phrase, 'oh, we were just talking about you', I thought they were being polite. It took me until my adult life to realize everyone has something to say about everyone. And you can't do anything about that. A difficult concept for me because I grew up thinking, for the most part, everyone liked everyone else. I wanted everyone to be happy all the time. And I thought if you were nice, kind, sweet, generous, giving, that would spread and surround and generally seep into everyone around you and so on and so on and so on. Ah, the peacefulness of naiveté.
So, while you can't exactly control your appearance to others, you can do your best to live your life truthfully. It's difficult, but when done to it's best intention, chances are you're doing a pretty good job of it.