Sunday, July 13, 2008

Practice Resurrection

Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt--marvellous error!--
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.
--Antonio Machado

Years ago, when I read Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye, I remember feeling so sick to my stomach the whole time I was reading it. What the young girl goes through was so familiar. I thought to myself, 'somebody watched a part of my childhood and here it is in indelible ink...permanently recorded'. I almost hated the book for that. In fact, I told friends, while it was a good story, I couldn't recommend it because it was so painful to read.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Anne Lamott's book, Crooked Little Heart, which I just finished reading. While Atwood can make me feel like a freak in a freaky world, Lamott makes me feel like I could curl up in her lap and she would coo to me, "Everything is gonna be alllllright. I know exactly how you feel. We've all felt the same way at some point." Of course, I don't believe we've all felt the same way at some point, but that's okay too. I'm not sure why it is, lately, that everyone who passes me on the street seems to have it so together. Like they don't have a care in the world. Like their knees don't ache or their stomach never gets in knots. Like they're not wracked with self-doubt or loathing, for that matter. Or, that they could have whatever they wanted if they just said it outloud.

"Practice resurrection" is a line from Lamott's book. I think it's a beautiful thought. It might be my next tattoo.


Christina said...

you make me want to read that book again. and surely you know so few of us really have it together... xo

comfies said...

well so now i have yet ANOTHER book to add to my reading list.

p.s. you know all those people who look like they have it all together? they don't. but hopefully they know how to practice some resurrection...xox

comfies said...

p.s. that is one of my FAVORITE quotes! the machado quote! my mother wrote it down for me once and i re-visit it often..

Bonbon Oiseau said...

fanastic post molly. i have copied the machado poem and want to make a necklace of it--will post when i do and dedicate to you.
all those people are probably 22.

LOVE ann Lamott.. you are my hero with your honesty. hang in there.

Ellen said...

Love those quotes! Maybe I'm too much of a cynic, but in my experience the ones who often 'appear' to have it together are the ones who question nothing, who possess an utter lack of curiosity about the world .

The most interesting people are often racked with self-doubt and go off the rails from time to time. Those are my kind of people.

gojiearthbird said...

That quote...? I have a few white boxes to print that on
Beautiful imagery ....

sarasophia said...

i just went online and purchased the book "Cat's Eye" on your recommendation. If it really is too haunting for the bookshelf, I'll pass it along to my sister.

Love your blog! Come for a visit? (